Scribbles of the Nautilis: February 2006

Random stuff...1

Well, I'm finally going to start making those little anime dolls I said I was going to make. I do have the list.:
John-Shin Tenchi (Tenchi Muyo!)
Katrice- Kyo Sohma (Fruits Basket)
Ellie- Miroku (Inuyasha)
Lupa-kun -Vicious (Cowboy Bebop)

And unknown to a friend of mine, I'm going to make one of her character. XD
Also, I'm going to start a new costume project with the help of my grandmother. I'll be cosplaying as Fujiwara-no-Sai. Hopefully, this will be done by MetroCon.

Guess what I found?

Take a look at this. What do you guys think? Post it in the comment section, please?
http://ebaumsworld.com/videos/nword.html

I wish Valentine's Day would die. Or maybe I'm just vain, insecure, AND confused.

When I was a kid, I loved it. I got candy, cards, and gifts. But when I met Rvy-kun and told him happy V-Day, he said he didn't celebrate it because he didn't need one special day of the year to tell his beloved he loved her. I felt so heartbroken after that, and it troubled me all the way through middle school and high school. I never had anyone to celebrate it with, so I ended up hating it. If I did get anything, it was because no one wanted me to feel left out. It was for the wrong reason.....What I mean to say is that as February 14th passes by, I've always been depressed because of it. Why? Everyone was so happy that they got this or that. Blah, blah, and I sit in the corner, gathering up dust.
Now, as I'm in high school, they're building little popularity tests because of it. Valentine's Day, I mean. Why? Oh, well. Popularity doesn't matter in places after high school. No one wanted, or wants to celebrate it with me, so why celebrate with anyone else? Sure, I'll eat the candy, but that's it. I like the little cards Rvy-kun made, but I know they're for someone else. I'm happy, though, for him, because he's sharing it with someone he really loves, and they're closer to him, whereas I'm on the other side of the world. What can I do? He's going to fall further in love with them, and there goes me out his heart. I have to be a big enough person to accept that he used to love me, and that we can't be together. I do feel the knife's stabs of jealousy and betrayl, but I have to get over it. I have other things to do than throw a pity party because my special one walked out on me for someone else, like continue my education. I promised myself I was going to visit him and his friends in the Philippines, but, now, my agenda's changed.
I guess I'm just depressed because of it. I love him dearly, though I may be with other people, but no one can serve two or more people. I can just hear him saying that he'll leave me for her because she's closer. I know it; I feel it. I'm just moving off of borrow'd time....
Or, maybe...I'm just confused in between individuality, "fitting in"--conformity, love, lust, sex, being afraid of people....I'd like a "Valentine to actually stick around afterwards. Is that so pathetic or hard to ask?
Additionally, though, I don't think I have that much trust in anyone, so the first thing to go without an explanation is almost like...a blow. And then I need compensation for it.
I just don't know. But, all I do know, is that there's been one person who's alwyas been there for me, though he came after Rvy-kun's arrival. I can talk to him about anything, so long as I'm willing to listen to all he has to say. So, I'm going to take the time to thank dear Lupa for all his support. You've always been my hero, and I will never forget your friendship. I may not like the fact that Bush wants the ones working for the US military/army to be in Iraq for a decade, but somehow, I think you'll do well.

Dreams and Cornbread

I got to try the best cornbread! It was made by someone else, and a tablemate let me try some. I'm close to being officially "black". XD Oh, and in other news, I met this guy around two, three weeks. His name is Nick, but I shall call him Jak, because he's the only dude I actually know at school with a goatee. I've been having romantic, date-type dreams about him. Only two, though. But I've just met this guy! I don't want him to think that I'm stalking him. I know he's attractive to me, not just physically, but mentally, too; I'm just afraid that if he knows I like him, that he'll just think I'm some type of wierdo. We need to be around each other a bit more before we I say that to him......

Stalker-Charms

I made some charms for people who've got stalkers. I think you can use it for blogs, forums, and all that stuff, but I'm having trouble making it bigger. So, if any of you guys can enlarge my images and give them back to me, I promise you, I will repay your efforts. Here's the first one.